Senses
by Kasai-Kama
Summary: A one-shot about nobodies, Axel's thoughts, and how important our senses are. Warnings: sad Axel, sexual themes, yaoi, and cursing


Senses were the closest things nobodies had to emotions besides their memories. So to Roxas, who had no memories except in his dreams, every sense he used made him feel more real. The same was true for Axel. He had memories, but what good were they? They were only fragments of what he once had and no longer did. These five senses were all he needed. After all, you remember what your senses experience, right?

Touch.

He could feel the young blonde's body writhe beneath his own. So soft...

Sight.

He could see the impossibley blue eyes squint at him with the intensity of a hungry lion.

Smell.

Axel buried his flushed face in Roxas' warm neck, inhaling his salty-sweet scent, like his favorite treat.

Hearing.

Roxas called out the red-head's name, unable to bite back the sensuous moans that followed. This was one of the very few times Roxas did more than just stare off into space. He was normally very boring until these times. Lea had despised boredom before becoming a nobody.

Taste.

Axel always had troubles with this sense. He wanted to kiss Roxas, and kiss he did, just not where he wanted to. He wanted to taste Roxas' sweet mouth, but that would lessen a different sense; hearing. He wouldn't utalize all five senses that way. He wouldn't have all five senses engulfed in Roxas. Damn.

So he continued to settle for the taste of the skin on his lover's neck instead. All five senses. Better than a hear. Although, he knew that Roxas wasn't _completely_ heartless. His Somebody was still alive. Sora. Roxas held half of his power, and..half of his heart? No, that wasn't right. More like one third. Namine held a part of Sora's heart as well. But if you thought of it that way, so did many other people. Or something like that.

Axel frowned. He knew that even though Roxas had fragments of his heart, he still couldn't love. And neither could he. Dammit. He was only doing something physical, but if he had a heart it would be so much more. He would love Roxas. Not if he was "whole" or whatever Xemnas wanted to call it. Lea wouldn't love Roxas, Axel didn't delude himself. There was no way his Somebody would love Roxas.

But what if they were both whole? No. Lea would never love Sora, and Sora would never love Lea. When Axel had met Sora at Castle Oblivion, and Sora was head over heels for this "Riku" guy. What was the point of wishing anyway? Lea was dead. But if Axel gained his own heart, things would be different. He'd never cared wether or not the organization accomplished its goals. But that was before Roxas had joined. Roxas' power to use the keyblade could help him gain a heart.

But if Roxas had his own heart, would he love Axel? Axel remembered what love felt like, but Roxas didn't. Roxas had no memories, so even if he had a heart, how would he know if he loved Axel? How could he?

Too much damn thinking! What did it matter right now anyway? Right now his senses were all that he needed because he didn't have a heart or emotions,no matter how much he tried to theorize that he did. He could smile and laugh, but they were fake, he didn't actually feel these things. He couldn'e evn cry. Or so he thought.

Roxas laid beneath Axel, staring into his emerald-green eyes. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked as if he was in pain.

Pain.

Axel knew that Roxas could feel pain. That was one emotion Roxas had retained from his partial heart.

"What's wrong, Roxas?" he asked quietly. Roxas looked away and his eyes started to water. Maybe Roxas had retained enough sadness to be able to cry. It was possible, wasn't it?

"Roxas?" Axel questioned, seemingly alarmed. Roxas drew in a shaky breath and answered to quietly he was almost inaudible.

"I-I'm leaving," he whispered.

Axel was from then on convinced that all nobodies had fragments of their hearts because this pain was far from fake. For the first time since he'd become a nobody, Axel cried.

**A/N: I had alot of fun writing this and it's my longest akuroku fic that I haven't torn up and thrown away. i hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review and let me know what I can do better next time**


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